Well i would suggest listening to some music and covering your window before take off and just try to relax. Just rember this you are more likely to get killed in the car driving to the airport than actually from flying. I know im not the biggest help I absolutely love flying and i want to go to The Air Force Academy and then become a pilot. I find flight one of the most interesting things.
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It doesn't sound like a fear of flying, per se. A fear of flying wouldn't be expunged until the plane actually touched the ground, since the fear would be based upon a fear of crashing.

Your fear sounds more like an inability to commit, to be comfortable making a decision. Once the plane takes off, you no longer have a decision to make about whether or not to stay on the plane or not, and thus the fear vanishes. However, because you are on the ground, you still have the 'option' of whether or not you can get on the plane. And once you are on the plane at the terminal, you still have a small window in which to wonder (and act upon) whether or not you made the right decision. The plane thus becomes a focus for you to analyze and fret over the decisions you have made.

Could it be that you have made some pretty bad decisions in the past, and that the fear of making those same (or worse) decisions again is what is manifesting itself in your anxiety? If so, then its better for you to understand why you made 'bad' decisions in the past, what influences were acting upon you to make you choose such, and are they acting upon you still? Understanding how we make bad decisions allows us to see why we made them, and it also allows us to see if we are any different now than we were before (for example: before, I lived at home and had to listen to my parents alot, even if they gave bad advice I felt I had to follow, but now I am living on my own, listening to myself, so its more likely the choice I am making is one I want, not one someone else wants.) Realizing that we are a different person now than before is often what allows us to replace anxiety with hope and possibility.
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Great method is hypnosis. I have a friend who had an unbelievable phobia of flying, she even couldn't use an elevator. She couldn't live a normal life because of it. She went to one psychologist who also was a hypnotist, it took only one session like 20 minutes where hypnotist made suggestions to her, and one of them was when she will be on the plane and will be very nerves and anxious she has to touch her left ear. So when my friend had to travel by plane the first time after she was hypnotized she was as always nervous but when she touched her ear she calmed down and the whole time she was quiet and she was not nervous at all. Also there are other techniques of suggestions that can be used. Try to find a good hypnotist he surely can help you.
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Might sound weird but I would suggest you buy a flight sim program. MS Flight (whatever version is current) is awesome in terms of flight models and graphics. Get a good joystick and throttle set up (like Saitek X52) and learn to fly. Once you understand the basics and can control a plane you will know exactly what is happening in the cockpit and you won't worry about it. Modern flight sims are not games, the military and airlines use sims to train their pilots.
And drop by VC-81 for a visit!
~S~
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http://www.vc-81.net/home.htm

a stiff drink?? no really i sit by the window and look out
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First, identify what it is about flying that frightens you. Then go flying many times while focusing on what is not happening about that flight that was supposed to be so frightening. This method is called immersion. It allows you to single out specific events of possible disaster and experience the reality of nothing happening. Good Luck.
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Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy - is a form of psychotherapy that emphasizes the important role of thinking in how we feel and what we do. Cognitive-behavioral therapist teach that when our brains are healthy, it is our thinking that causes us to feel and act the way we do. Therefore, if we are experiencing unwanted feelings and behaviors, it is important to identify the thinking that is causing the feelings / behaviors and to learn how to replace this thinking with thoughts that lead to more desirable reactions.

There are several approaches to cognitive-behavioral therapy, including Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, Rational Behavior Therapy, Rational Living Therapy, Cognitive Therapy, and Dialectic Behavior Therapy.

For more info about this, please see the link below. Also, it is more reliable and helpful for you to consult a psychologist.
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http://www.nacbt.org/whatiscbt.htm

JUST REMIND YOURSELF THAT THERE ARE FEWER PLANE ACCIDENTS THEN THERE ARE CAR ACCIDENTS. hAVE A FEW COCKTAILS IN THE AIRPORT LOUNGE BEFORE BOARDING. AND ASK FOR AN ISLE SIT RATHER THAN THE WINDOW.
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keep your mine on something you like to do and the trip will be over sone
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go to a shrink
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